No, you know what-- no. None of this. He's having none of this. Not his feelings being left at the crime scene, not Valdis appointing herself his therapist, not death-- not death being marked on his soul. No. No. He knows it's there, he knows it's there, but he didn't fucking say she could look. ]
What would you do? [ Sharp and ragged. He sits up -- no, he stands up. Why even try to be calm? He's killed someone and it's already not a secret, and one person will tell another, and they'll tell another; he's done that walk of shame before, and this time he can't run away from it. How long can he really keep his head above water now? What if he just dived? ]
What would you do if I explain? Huh? Would you make it better? Would you tell me it's 'not my fault'? [ Disgust is heavy on those words -- and on some deep level, so is desperation. He can't fathom putting down the guilt, but it's heavy, and his bones crack under it. ] If you can see- see death on my soul, then christ, you know talking won't fucking help me. None of this-- none of this is for you.
no subject
No, you know what-- no. None of this. He's having none of this. Not his feelings being left at the crime scene, not Valdis appointing herself his therapist, not death-- not death being marked on his soul. No. No. He knows it's there, he knows it's there, but he didn't fucking say she could look. ]
What would you do? [ Sharp and ragged. He sits up -- no, he stands up. Why even try to be calm? He's killed someone and it's already not a secret, and one person will tell another, and they'll tell another; he's done that walk of shame before, and this time he can't run away from it. How long can he really keep his head above water now? What if he just dived? ]
What would you do if I explain? Huh? Would you make it better? Would you tell me it's 'not my fault'? [ Disgust is heavy on those words -- and on some deep level, so is desperation. He can't fathom putting down the guilt, but it's heavy, and his bones crack under it. ] If you can see- see death on my soul, then christ, you know talking won't fucking help me. None of this-- none of this is for you.