I know he's human -- I still get to be fucking angry about it. Being human isn't an excuse for fucking up, it's--
[ She said she was immortal; he doesn't know what she is, or whether she understands this, and he's still fighting to talk without crying-- but he's going to get this out: this is kind of important to him, okay-- ]
It means that when you fuck up, you-- you accept the consequences. You own it-- you don't, don't expect the person you hurt to somehow be okay, you don't expect to be forgiven overnight, you don't-- y-you don't tell people you saved her.
[ His voice is breaking on every syllable at the end there, and it's only by a herculean effort that he doesn't make Valdis stand there watching him cry again. There's a miserable pressure inside him that won't let up, so while her question hits him just as hard as her statement, he can only manage a quiet response to it, brief by comparison. ]
No. Jesus, what do you think I... no.
[ He'd like to say that he wouldn't have done it if he didn't know Crichton would come back. But... is that true? He wasn't approaching the action with any kind of logical plan. And even if it's true, is that really better? Or does it just mean that dying, and reviving, and dying and reviving again, and watching others do the same, has fucked him up in some subtle but incredibly important way?
And whether or not it's true, it isn't an excuse. ]
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[ She said she was immortal; he doesn't know what she is, or whether she understands this, and he's still fighting to talk without crying-- but he's going to get this out: this is kind of important to him, okay-- ]
It means that when you fuck up, you-- you accept the consequences. You own it-- you don't, don't expect the person you hurt to somehow be okay, you don't expect to be forgiven overnight, you don't-- y-you don't tell people you saved her.
[ His voice is breaking on every syllable at the end there, and it's only by a herculean effort that he doesn't make Valdis stand there watching him cry again. There's a miserable pressure inside him that won't let up, so while her question hits him just as hard as her statement, he can only manage a quiet response to it, brief by comparison. ]
No. Jesus, what do you think I... no.
[ He'd like to say that he wouldn't have done it if he didn't know Crichton would come back. But... is that true? He wasn't approaching the action with any kind of logical plan. And even if it's true, is that really better? Or does it just mean that dying, and reviving, and dying and reviving again, and watching others do the same, has fucked him up in some subtle but incredibly important way?
And whether or not it's true, it isn't an excuse. ]