Holy shit. He doesn't know if his world will have gone the same way as Bash's by the time it reaches the same year, but if it did, that'd be a huge change.
"Married too?" Arthur says, surprised. He's not a teenager any more, so he doesn't say something stupid like 'that's impossible', but he is tripped up a little. He sort of thought homosexuality was mostly about... sex. Flings with strangers and so on. It's the other reason he never really saw himself aligned with it.
The idea of there being a community for him here is... it's inviting. The idea of it being a community based on that is alarming, like he's a cuckoo they're unwittingly welcoming into their nest.
"Listen, I-- I still don't know if I..."
Arthur's fingers are a whole percussion section on the sofa, but he keeps talking.
"I-I-I wasn't lying, you know. When I said to you that I wasn't-- wasn't interested in having sex with, with other men. A-at least I don't think so." Apparently he's been wrong a lot lately! But yeah, he doesn't think so. "I-I don't want to invite assumptions."
God, just talking about this kind of thing out loud feels like sending a risky text. Anyway Arthur is fully rambling at this point, encouraged by the frankness of the conversation so far to say things he usually wouldn't.
"I almost don't know what that would look like, you know?" Rueful, because surely this is another universal experience that Bash will totally relate to right?? "People talk about wanting sex like it's this thing that moves the world, but half the time I think they're all putting it on, a-and nobody's yet had the courage to admit that the emperor's not wearing clothes. Obviously it must be different for some, or else they wouldn't do the things they do, but-- christ, I have to wonder how much of it is pride more than anything else. Not wanting to be the first one to blink." A half-sigh, half-laugh, like they're sharing some great secret. "Really. Hardly worth eating the apple for, isn't it?"
hands in face ongoing homophobia cw until further notice
"Married too?" Arthur says, surprised. He's not a teenager any more, so he doesn't say something stupid like 'that's impossible', but he is tripped up a little. He sort of thought homosexuality was mostly about... sex. Flings with strangers and so on. It's the other reason he never really saw himself aligned with it.
The idea of there being a community for him here is... it's inviting. The idea of it being a community based on that is alarming, like he's a cuckoo they're unwittingly welcoming into their nest.
"Listen, I-- I still don't know if I..."
Arthur's fingers are a whole percussion section on the sofa, but he keeps talking.
"I-I-I wasn't lying, you know. When I said to you that I wasn't-- wasn't interested in having sex with, with other men. A-at least I don't think so." Apparently he's been wrong a lot lately! But yeah, he doesn't think so. "I-I don't want to invite assumptions."
God, just talking about this kind of thing out loud feels like sending a risky text. Anyway Arthur is fully rambling at this point, encouraged by the frankness of the conversation so far to say things he usually wouldn't.
"I almost don't know what that would look like, you know?" Rueful, because surely this is another universal experience that Bash will totally relate to right?? "People talk about wanting sex like it's this thing that moves the world, but half the time I think they're all putting it on, a-and nobody's yet had the courage to admit that the emperor's not wearing clothes. Obviously it must be different for some, or else they wouldn't do the things they do, but-- christ, I have to wonder how much of it is pride more than anything else. Not wanting to be the first one to blink." A half-sigh, half-laugh, like they're sharing some great secret. "Really. Hardly worth eating the apple for, isn't it?"